"when im with you
i'll make every second count
cause I MISS YOU
whenever youre not around"

i was about to make every second of my time count just now, but i dont know what stopped me from doing it. HAPPY BIRTHDAY FEQAH (: tomorrow is friday, a day which i personally think that it'd be nice to just stay at home and sleep. but yeah, cant do that tomorrow. right now im trying my hardest to fill my sorrow with tears of joy. im still trying.. but yea, wont seem to work. im alone and been left alone. im moody and sarcasted. im sorry to those who i ignored or rolled eyes to. part of me says, 'hey, lets smile and have fun'. another part says, 'no, leave me alone'. so which part? i'll pick the second, obviously. let alone life. im not going to be there with you. unless i can stop myself from doing stupid stuffs. i cried cause of you and you. its stupid wah. really. in the end, im always the one to blame. clueless and miserable. everyones busy. yeaaah, busy. she's busy, he's busy too. she's not being fair... whats the difference kan? they have better social thing than me? oh ya, im lame. i knew that. dont worry, i'll let myself be miserable. im good at it (: on the other hand, im like i dont know to him. my life is great. its exciting.. i think, what im about to do will make his life easier. go have fun. hoping that this doesnt go on.. im tired of crying. every night. its not a joke. im not typing all these so that you'd come up to me. im just your 'uh im bored nad'. sigh.. to whoever it is, i love you still.

im listening to some techno songs from bungsu akai's phone. hes playing it loud. my mom is pacar-ing the women. everyone's smiling and laughing. i found myself sitting alone at the corner, typing all these and badly need to cry. i want to lay myself down. I WANNA SMILE AND LAUGH LIKE YOU ALL DID! its been three days. im always distracted by you during classes. where are you huh? youre having fun while im here, crying myself out. do you even care?? oh, no you dont. its because you know that i'd be okay by myself. and theres also this other thing.. a thing that sigh.. should i even bother to work it out? i did. i really tried to. but it starts to fall apart.

im sick sick sick of all this!! )':
i guess im ending all these nonsenses.

"what can i do
say its true
or everything that matters breaks in two
say its true
i'll never ask for anyone but you"

"if you need anything
just say the word i mean anything
rest assure if you start to doze
and i'll tuck you in
plant my lips where your necklaces close"

"take my hand and tell me its okay to be wild"

"tonight i've fallen and i cant get up
i need your loving hands to come and pick me up
and every night i miss you i can just look up
and know the stars are holding you holding you holding you
tonight"

"you never look at me the same
you know its really driving me insane
and i know
without you i cant function no more"

"i wish i could here your voice
dont leave me alone in this bed
i wish i could touch you once more
dont leave me alone in this bed"

"teach me every step
every dip and every turn"

"i want you to know
with everything i wont let this go
these words are my heart and soul
i'll hold on to this moment you know
as i bleed my heart out to show
and i wont let go"

"run baby run dont ever look back
they'll tear us apart if you give them the chance
dont sell your heart dont say we're not meant to be
run baby run forever will be
you and me"

those lyrics meant lot to me... yeaah (: