i was alone in my room tadi.. and thoughts came across my mind and i feel so upset than ever. i hope that one day, it'll happen to you! i hope that your friends will ask you to do what you were trying to make me do. maybe then you'll realise how painful it is to be in that situation where you have to choose between your friends and your friends. and knowing the fact that some of them will get hurt, you won't get anything in return for doing that stupid thing to the other friends. see where this is going?? this happens to me more than once, thats why now, im letting it out. because im the one who was hurt (and i still am!) and at the same time, i didn't get anything from you. so yeah, have a happy life. you should consider yourself lucky you didnt lose A LOT of friends unlike me! im not saying that im not happy with the amount of friends i have now. its just that the ones that i lost, were the ones that i shared most cherish moments with. having them around feels like a lifetime wah. but atleast now i have more new friends to discover. you were so unpredictable you see. when it was me, you were so fucked up but when it comes to other people, and you, yourself, you werent as fucked up as you were to me. no, you didnt even feel a little fucked up!! hear me my dear friend, what you did to me, i got over it sudah. but what im not over with is the reasons why you were so pissed at me! i hurt a lot of people just to stop you from being mad at me. personally i hurt people so that i can get back your attention as you are my friend. but whaw! i lost. so yeah.. im going with the flow here, goodluck in everything.

well maybe i was a bit harsh. sorry. but you should know how hurt i am because of you. i want them back. i want my friends back. i love them. i miss those times when we just dont care about others. cubatah life ani nda payah go through changes. i mean we still can survive without advanced technologies. cool laptops, phones and all just destroy people. its true. certain people will go for those people who have those "cool creatures" and they'll eventually leave the ones who doesnt have the "cool creatures". get me? its just not fair. its my point of view so just shut up if you disagree. i want those old times. i surely want them. i miss my old bestfriend. she used to be the first one to know everything. even when there's a lizard in our toilets. we'll text each other up and say like, "ada cicak!!! nda ku jadi masuk jamban tarus" and i used to call her every afternoon when she was far away from me. and we talked for hours. shes still the old she, but its just different now. sigh... i do miss my girls. we used to cracked ourselves up during lunch arah princess arena. we gossip a lot. not a good thing but that keeps us close. they knew almost everything about every stuff. they're just cool. and we trade songs, we sing, we took alooooooooot of pictures and all.

and my other girls too. i miss aimi bazilah! there was one time when she was having her practical, then i passed by the lab and said, " bye nuriy " and she still waved at me though i called her by the wrong name. hahhahaha and kaii started to laugh and tell people about it. haha. and that time, nuriy pun salah panggil urang, yatah macam a day of calling people with wrong names! ahaha aimi, how are you doing there in meragang? youre soon to be eighteen, you should drop by md sometimes and pick us up. hehe. oh also sam!! girl, i have your link but we rarely stop by on each other's blog. hmmm, i miss youu! and khairunnisa!

omg hows iffah doing ah?? and syazana!!? awww, syazana used to be my almost everything. we go to poa, chemistry and amath tuition together. we sometimes came early so that we can go eat arah huaho! she sits next to me during chemistry for the last two years. iffah was always there for meeee!! shes younger than me but shes mature in some matters. me and syazana used to bully her because of her round eyes and shes unbalanced! ahahhahaha. and fatin nadiah!!! where is she?? maza!? asmaa?? YUS?? i miss you girls!! 5C was the greatest )': we didnt care if the teachers hated us. i miss being not care )': omg, i think i miss my old self!! )':

i hate changes! sometimes. but 2007 was the most perfect year i may say. life back then was smooth. hmm. alright then. i better go now. i have tests tomorrow, god knows how prepared i am for it. im sorry if i offended some of you. honestly, i miss all of you, i miss my friends the most. i miss them. i miss you girls. i miss you guys. i miss youuuuuuu )':

"pause it at our favorite part"

and to note, damn! what a bummer! yeah you are so full of it now. and thats a fact!

wuuh, one hell of a week! everything didn't seem smooth you see. there were drama here and there, offensive act, sour soul and most importantly, homeworks were given like flowing water. non-stop wah. so i should start by telling you what had happened since last sunday. it was mom's birthday kan? and also it happens to be abang khairul's wedding day. the wedding was prefect. i think. anyway, malamnya, babah decided to bawa kami makan. it was fun! uda besar's family tagged along. we had our dinner arah dimsum.

it was my first time going there. so i was a bit sakai. the food was okay lah. overall, it was a great night :) monday was a fine day. well, half of monday lah. starting malam, everything fell apart. tuesday, i was grounded. heh. because of me wanting to stay at home to finish up my homework and refused to ikut mama to pick angah. who gets grounded because of homework kan? no one!! ):

theeeen, the next day, was expecting something but yeah. and i found out something that i knew it would happen. NAH! sudah ku cakap wah. it will happen. but i didnt expect it to be this early. gila. if i say fake, nda jua ngam. if i say it was a lie all those times, pun nda jua. ntah eh. and should be kan... nevermind. goodluck lah. thursday, time geo ada presentation. THANK GOD, group B numbur 3 out of 4. hahaha we werent prepared wah. macam 60% saja. first was hizami's group, nadia's group came in second and 4th was hakim's.

next trip, bukit patoiii :D oh or maybe ke airport. wehuuu. tapi sir nda mau bawa aku. shissh. and and uhm, jangantah. friday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY AQILAH AZIZ! gugugugu. and so, todaaay, biasa saja. right now, we are watching "curhat" with the 104. hahaha bari banci wah si shinta ani. macam KAU! ugh!

hahaha no offense. next monday, math quiz (integration) and chemistry test (state of matters) then tuesday, chemistry LAGI (thermochemistry). lapas atu, 2nd june, MPR CHEMISTRY!! HELP!!!!!! )':

"you're pushing me out, when i'm wanting in"

almost forgot. i wanted to share something new with you guys. i came across this man i've known my whole life. he told me that if you eat chicken's leg, you play better football. ahahahahahhahaha okay it doesn't sound funny in english, but trust me, IT REALLY WAS FUNNY WHEN HE SAID THAT TO ME! cemani : nadiah, cuba kau makan ni kaki ayam ah. handal main bula ni. ahahahaha and he continued : urang man u makan kaki ayam 5 kali seminggu. yatah handal atu. suruh urang liverpool cuba. lol. if it's lame then you may leave. hahaha cali eh.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA!!
i love you, forever, mwaaaah!

we are the champions, my friends
and we'll keep on fighting till the end
we are the champions
we are the champions
no time for losers
cause we are the champions, of the world

hahahahahaha love it when this happens AGAIN on the 28th! AMIN AMIN! so, its EPL cup, its MANCHESTER UNITED, who won, AGAIN, continuously! hahaha ka siti is right next beside me and shes annoyed. lol. so we watched the match arah bu ajah, tarus ada tahlil and liat final af. the match was booohreng but satisfying. as usual, ronaldo was so burning hot!

man utd 0 - 0 arsenal

next match, man utd vs barcelona :) rome rome.

"the way you tried not to look at me...."

so yesterday was a day. we had this trip to bukit dadap in the afternoon. was fun. we get to know each other better. the aim was to know more about hydrology. boring wa this topic, i tell you. so the weather was freaking hot. we were boiling. there were 16 of us + mr kah + sir asri = 18. the paths were so complicated to walk on or go through. we have to struggle wah. then the rocks were very slippery. zulfadli and diyana slipped. god, imagine that. the hills were so tinggi. we have to stretch like heck. hahaa which reminds me of falah. not going to mention though. but it was fun lah. the waterfall was quiet relaxing too. took a lot of green pictures but obviously im not going to upload them. i mixed the pictures up so do enjoy spotting people.


next activity was at night. 104 have this futsal thing going on. again, it was fuuuun. didn't expect all of them to come but hey, they did come. they played futsal at harun's gym, and again, freaking hot! i was so busy being the time keeper, whistle blower, camera-video girl, i didn't quite spend my time running around. not that i want to, but yeah. here are the results :

the boys 2 vs 2 the boys
the single 3 vs 2 the taken
players : the single - khaliq, nabil, syauqi, ajis, as.
the taken - hj jul, hj adu, masli, hj yusri, shahrul.
man utd 4 vs 1 liverpool (wish this could happen next season haha)
players : semua main! hahahha durang main pasing pasing saja. siapa rasanya man u, score. lol hahaa

man of the match was actually a girl. haha she was the only girl playing. si mum wah. this futsal thing was for preparation for the next not-so-big match between 104 and babah's friend's team. so break a leg :D i know 104 kana "belasuk" badly, i don't actually know the meaning, hahahah. sounds cool wah if i use that word to describe the real scenario. not! and to ka mamah, have a safe study period over there. as usual, don't forget us here. go online once in a while, more important, UPDATE YOUR BLOG! come home soon. "we mish you wawawa" hahaha

"...clearly shows everything's over."

i sooo love this picture. i dont know why. cali wah. when i asked them to begambar kan, they were all macam standing straight. kali when i lowered my camera, they were like "buleh free pose ka?" ahahaha. and there, their free pose. im going to print this basar basar. they all are actually siblings. love you uncles. rawwwr.

then i was sort of in my emo state masih, so i went through all the old videos. i found the concert cd when i was in pggmb. awww. i really miss schooling there. sana macam siuk wah. mrs asmad, cigu siti hawa, cigu atikah, mrs lee, mrs rahman and mrs jenny hodson/hogdson, thank you for every single thing!! mrs marsh, cigu rafiah, cigu baizura, cigu zaleha, cigu masnah, cigu metussin, cigu jalaluddin.. and all those who taught me before. errrgh. i wish i could just spread the lovee. eh? ah whatever lah. so the concerts kan dari primary one. HAHA. we danced uhm du di du di dum? that masak masak song. hahahah there were wafiy, ahmad sa'ad, adi hamizan, yanyan, azzah, afiqah, nash, azimuddin omg a lot! then primary two was this traditional dance. primary three was joget. haha this one was cali. i mean not me. ka iyah punya part. ahaha you dont get me ni. but really, cali. hahhaha then the 3 blue! ada malik, nafees, nadia afiqah, zahidah, jiah, ahmad muaz, ariff! they were so fun! then there were ka mamah, ka siti, aunt telma, abg iyul! omg everyone was yoooooung! and cute!! and bari malu! hahaha primary four was this chinese dance, the boys ahahahahhaha they did this aerobic ahahahha. only five of them! dindin, siddeq, someone, aziman and azim momin. hahahahha caliii! omg. then primary five was okay lah. hahha 5 blue kali cali. jiah was WOOOW! hahahhaha she danced superbly. hahahha i wish i can upload the videos. god. nada lagi concerts ka? i miss dancing! dulu kan, everytime kan concert, nda belajar wah. yatah siuk! dapat ke canteen awal. haha apan. and every class will like tutup the windows pakai tabir so no one would actually see what they'll perform. haha and we'll like subuk subuk through an open holes kah apa. apa lagi ah? oh ya, there was this video jua masa mama mandi belawat. i looked like a boy!! ugh! and my ears were so libarr! so annoying! at some points i think my ears were bigger than my head! and aku batah nangis! isssh! bida eh. and and si mamat was gauk! si ajis was secondhand!! i mean, style lama wah. hahahhaha ada jua this video masa korban, omg everyone was so small!! mimi was young! not saying that youre now old, but really, we all were so young! nabil was so skinny! and that time, ia and mamat pakai baju arsenal!! yg yellow colour ah. HAHAHHAH but now sorang liv and sorang man u. there were also mulah nini laki. the way he tatak the meat, awh, we miss that the most! urah was so kecil! khaliq's hairstyle was HAHAHHA okay i better stop. you won't read this anyway.

oh oh, this :D

liverpool 3-0 west ham
man city 0-2 man utd
arsenal 1-4 chelsea

and and ronaldo was hoooot! eh gila. i mean it. like hot hot. and when i saw him in his car, grrrrr! hencem wah! haha bah enough from me. night.

im getting pretty annoying to some of you so im sorry. next time just tell me if i annoy you guys. i can just go. no hard feelings :) im ... uhm ...

A time when the heart found it's beat. It was a long time ago and I personally think that it won't last long. I was only a girl who saw things from the outside. The heart was getting more and more attracted towards it. Haha. Like the more electrons are removed, the higher the electronegativity. Yeah, something like that. That time, I can only managed to tell my friends. I was all hyper when it came towards me and the smiles and cuteness, oh so undescribable. Rumours spread like wildfire and things started to get a little complicated. I think when I was young, I'm already good in being obvious :\ Then someone told me something about it and all those worries and embarass-ness just disappeared. Then the teachers found out and they were teasing and sarcastinating. Is there such word? Hmm. This went for a year. The following year, everything changed except for the feeling part. I still have that feelings towards it for a number of years after that. It never disappear, that's what I'm sure of. Though I've never come across in seeing it within those years. After that, there was this day, I was reading someone's comment, aaand i saw it! More like, I've finally found it! But I was disappointed. The next day, something unexpected had happened and from that day onwards, everything went wow-wee :) Though there were many obstacles, but I made it through. I feel comfortable with it. It was just like I've won something worth waiting for. But as time goes by, and people go through changes, it was something unavoidable. Sometimes I regret doing it. And now, I must say that I'm confused. I'm mixed up. I'm always like this you see. I got into troubles easily. For once, I'd like to just be miserable. I did, already, but it was boring. I'm thinking of doing it again. I'm strong, atleast, I think I am :) Oh well, now that I feel like I've lost the most valuable strength(since having it around feels like I've reached a certain perfection), I guess all I have to do is just let... it... go... I don't have the rights to control it. I actually do, if I wasn't this careless. I let it slipped away so easily. But seeing it every now and then, I admit it myself... That thing just came rushing back into my veins or capillaries or neurons or what so ever. Oh wow. Now I'm being soooo unfair. What am I suppose to do? One thing keeps me happy and so does the other one. In other words, I AM WEAK! I was such a fool. I was so stupid and all that. So I'm thinking, I'm in the process of being karma-lized. But it has everything now.... So I'm just gonna step out. Someday, I'll come across some shocking news about it. I'm sure I will.

it is the sweetest thing i came across my whole life. it has great talents in almost everything. it comforts you truly, it cares for you deeply, it has strong believes in you. it can sing, it has this such-oh-my voice. it doesn't take challenges as a no. it never ever fall from itself no matter how bad it has been bitten. it is cute and some say it is hot. it has the greatest most superb talent in this specific sport. so in conclusion, you can easily fall for it. im not lying. so YOU must take good care of it. it completes you :)

p/s : if, just IF some of you know what
im talking about,which i think
you will, do ignore :)

sorry for keeping that "someone" waiting :p haha here are the pictures you wanted :D banyak pulang lagi. not gonna post all. sangal ku. haha

aqil

he was actually showing off his liverpool shoes :\

ahahahahaha this picture really cracked me up. we have this thing wah against indonesians taking picture of themselves.. durang mesti pigang something wah. like for example, if durang begambar siring a tree, they'd pigang one of the leaves and stand reeeeally straight(just like durang diatas) without smiling. AHAHA!! cali calii

hmmm, bibi is the prisoner and pipah is the wrestling referee. ahahaah

aina

si kambang

miri, 3rd May 2009.

arsenal 1 - 3 man utd
scorers:
van persie(p) -- arsenal
j.s.park, cristiano ronaldo -- man utd

hehehehehehehehe ;p
so yeah, FINAL!! rome, here they come. man u will be up against barcelona :D dont care if they lose... only care if they beat arsenal or not, and THEY DID! muahaha. the hottest scored twice. superb goals, sharp and confident. awwh! haha

Dk Nurul Yus Hazirah Pg Amjah, I M I S S Y O U !
wherever you are, i will always be there. oh yus i so love you baby. its been six years since i've known you, and i miss your laughter. every single "haha". my geo class nda siuk ): my sir always bully aku. if you were there, you could've been the victim ): when can i see you kaaan? i've been wanting to go to katok tapi alum sampai. i have looooots to tell. i told you before jua, you need to be updated. so do i! hows life? love life? school life? have you been bitching around? ah? ah? you forgot me sudah ka? nda kan? oh please say no. you rarely visit my blog sudah ): im so sad. hmm............

to all my gp mates, block L2.2, ms ewana cancelled our presentations tomorrow. so we will be doing it on thursday. because the deputy principal wants us to be at the auditorium by 9am.

YAYYYYY! hahaha atleast theres one extra time. so i can really finish the points up. today was okay i think. it went pretty well. we had two talks tadi on TAP and VISION. i find it quiet boring. and all of them were so moody. like each of us ada the moody reasons. stayed back till 5-ish. watched md galaxy vs inter md. galaxy lost........ ): haha karang arsenal vs man u! ooooh my god! i hope, WE HOPE, man u will get through with this. please please pleasee! dont let those people bully me lagi apa. ah? ah? haha uhm im bored? auuuu! im still with my gp ni, my geo, nil ah. i wanted to antar tomorrow, but aku malas. plus tomorrow nada class. wow? one class saja esuk ah. hmm. elah, i have to do maths! karang saja eh while watching man u. sooo, see you :) oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY SYARAFINA! i dont know how to contact you... so hehe. goodluck in every single thing.

salam.

ouh, and how can i forgot....

big congratulations to ka nurul and si black for having their newly born baby girl :D weeee. welcome my dear girl, welcome to our pamilii. you'll enjoy every second of it. apan, i know its too early. im so excited! she was born on the 4th of May which is today! at around 2am. bravooo! iqa is now a sister. hehe and i think shes happy. i think lah. pasal tadi ia subuk subuk the lil girl. hahaha she might not know anything but yeah, shes happy tu eh.

and this...... why oh why... it suddenly became so awkward and quiet. it just doesnt seem fun anymore. there's not even a single "haha". everything changed just as soon as it happened. i dont even know what "it" is. i miss those old conversations. the ones we used to have everynight. those thoughts and sarcasms we shared. those advices you gave... before, it was all fine. we agree on almost everything. we clicked on every topic. well, sometimes. there was just never "no laughter" dulu. but now... seems so far away man. will this continue till the end? or are we just not going to be like we used to? its a big deal actually. no one can actually comforts me like you did. there are specific people, but eeeeeh, the way you comfort me different wah. like variety wah. ntah eh ): i badly miss those times and youuu...

for the time being, im going to stick with this skin. its bright, i know. just leave okay? im a bit messed up you see, and im confused. im just gonna type all the way. no, limit until 9 lah. i havent done a single word on geography. it is worth 20 marks and have to be submitted tomorrow. less than 12 hours wah tuu! oh well, malas ku antar esuk eh. haaai (: so yesterday i went to miri. it was fuuuuuuuun. we started to jalan at 630, like delayed for an hour due to uda rahim alum bangun. we started of well. siuuuk. we sang together... :'D first time ever wah, thats why im telling. first pit stop would be the toilet, haha. we went to imperial, parkson and boulevard. boulevard was very memorable. i played this electronic car with najwan and he didnt want his mommy! ahaha :D berangin, but sweet. he was soooooo hot that time. like really! i'll upload the pictures soon. insyallah.

we went back home at around 7-ish. we got stucked arah immigration brunei. they lost nabil's passport. i mean, baboon(idk his real name) and pat but lastly, tejumpa. phewww. arrived beribi around 10-ish and im still exhausted. i complained a lot to my friends tadi about everything and im so sorry. then this afternoon i just realized something. something that is veeeery confusable. whatever the word is. its so, ugh. i cant even describe it myself. i know i shouldnt but i just did and it........ hurts? ): hmm. now, all i have to do is just act like nothing happened and pretend that im okay. i wish! oh gooood. i have looooots of homeworks lagi ni. my mind is not yet ready to think. i just feel like typing everything. i hate this and that. i want ideall! tomorrow ada assembly and i think its a compulsory. my gp lagi alum siaap. HELP! can i not go to school tomorrow? i mean, the teachers wont care right? and no one needs me soo, should i not? i havent had enough sleep for two nights already ):

and im still not in the mood to do geo! eeeergh mixed up eh )': buring! nearly everyday cemani, macam nda fun ): what? i complained alot kah? jangan pulang baca. youre such a ........pfft. okay im sorry i called you that. uh whatever. gillaaa, kan burst ku. uhm its limpas 9 sudah. haha biartia eh. esuk saja ku buat geo. eh, nda jua dapat tu. antam eh. esuk kana ku lagi ni uleh sir. tadi sudah aku kana. everyday wah mesti dibulinya. ada once he said that im easy to be sold. pasal i have empty brain. si falah pun kana. macam, apaaaaan. tadi, notes ku alum berisi, pun kana jua! the rest pun alum siap, tapi aku jua. majal. haha. so goodnight everyone. study smart (:

MATIEH CEMANI ANI! SEKADAR WAH SEKADAR! NDA USAH TAH MENTAL!! SAKIT SAJA DIRI!

hallu there (; lifes getting hard each day. i am asked to be sabar, and i still am. today is friday, so why should i go crazy thinking about it. i stayed at home morning til noon. i slept at 3am tadi and now im sleepy sudah. yes :D went to the airport to send tua. saw mizaaaan. rupanya ia cousin si nasyitah. ohhhh. haha. and now im sick. not sick, sakit. sick, sick lah. i didnt do anything massive, kana banci. we didnt do anything pun, kana ucap. au taaaah, kamu cool. kami loser. tapi kami losers with style. homework mu nada ka kau buat rumours ani? siuk jua ah. what is it for? gp? yea, i might not know you but please, go away. and you! YOU NDA FUN! now i have doubts. i usually stick to one thing, but im not anymore. you pushed this faaar more worse than ever. you might be happy with your life now but next time, you wont. dont be too sombong okay? it wont bring any good to you. you can offend me but not my friends. just go away if you hate me so much. friends, i love you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIMI

alolo ikut ke miri! ikut ke miri! ikut ke miri!

hahaha and and get ya ass onto the car's seat wah and drive us!!
please?
say yes!
hahaha

thank you for the wonderful night my dearest friends. especially shahrul and zool.
thank youuu. i actually smiled, like for sooo long i havent done it.
thank you again.